i have this problem where i find a new “thing” i like and get passionate–to the extreme–about it. recent examples? tennis. superfoods [broccoli, almonds, blueberries, oats, etc.]. psalm 68 [the message translation]. foy vance. the citi identity theft commercials. and cortaid. yes, cortaid. it’s an anti-itch treatment [pharmacist recommended] that works amazingly well. got an itch? slap it on. one minute later, you’re golden. and by golden i mean itch-free. [in case anyone is getting nervous at this point, the "itch" is a bug bite, folks. that's it.]. between bike riding, tennis, walks, and phone conversations on the front steps, i’ve been very popular with the bugs lately, therefore being very itchy and in desperate need of cortaid. my new best friend.
so tonight i was talking with some people at small group about it [cortaid]. like i mentioned above, the getting “passionate” thing–that involves convincing everyone else it’s amazing too. and somehow i tied it in with the life of job, which we were reading. [maybe that he needed some when his skin was scabbing over and being eaten by maggots? i don't know.] followed by a conversation about job just having to sit in his mess for a while and not being able to fix a thing. and i had this realization [or maybe just a reminder] that i like immediate relief. i look for quick fixes. and i am so totally uncomfortable sitting in moments of struggle, being still in a situation of pain [from deeply rooted family issues to bug bites and backaches].
and i wonder. god, what could you teach me if i was more willing to wait in the hard spots. to feel the loss or hurt or pain, to be content–not comfortable [that's not realistic], but content–with the burden, the struggle. for the moment. even a semi-long moment. would i hear you more, jesus? would i experience you more? how would my life look, feel, and actually be different if i stopped avoiding those moments all together and quit immediately turning to fixes and feel betters when avoidance isn’t possible? i wonder.
maybe i’ll put the cortaid away. for a moment.
ok so most of you know that “nature-loving” has probably never been used to describe me. in listing my favorite places and choosing vacations my mind immediately jumps to london, new york, chicago. cities…(minus the california beaches, which i recently experienced)…with lots of moving bodies and art galleries and local coffee shops, where you hear a myriad of languages spoken within two or three blocks, and the sound of sirens and horns. i love that. it’s what i’ve always enjoyed, preferred, etc. until now. i spent last weekend in denver with friends, driving up into the mountains (my first time ever), and it was quiet and still and we were alone. i felt very small. and i absolutely loved it. i loved nature? it was one of the most incredible experiences…being in the mountains. i can’t even begin to describe it. so, i’ll share a few pictures and you will see why i loved nature. for the first time.
most of you know phillip harder. he takes the most beautiful pictures. these are especially striking–enough that i wanted them to be seen by more than me. [those shown in the photos are just some people i love.]
i made a target run tonight to pick up a few necessities. as i stood in the deodorant isle, deciding if i wanted to venture out and try something new (after all that pitting out in sticky hot missouri. geez!). i was doing the typical read the label and sniff the stick…and there it was. secret brand deodorant with the most bizarre scent ever. not “ocean breeze” or “powder fresh”…oh no, this was “VANILLA CHAI LATTE” scented. no joke. i actually made the woman next to me smell it because i had to share this moment of disgust with someone. i have major objections to ordering the same flavor deodorant as i do a drink at mars. the woman agreed with my reaction. really, who wants to drink their armpits?
it’s finals week for drake students. and i find myself doing one of the things i hate/love the most in life. reflecting.
it’s been a year of profound struggle and challenge in ministry [life] at drake, but one of unexplainable and unexpected blessing. as the year ends, jesus is more real. more incredible. more present than i understood before the year began. and i’m more desperate than i ever have been for him. come jesus. i think [hope] the same is true for the beautiful students that i work with. this video, created a couple of months back, is such a sweet testament to god’s work this year. watch it and be encouraged. we have a god who finds us in the hard places.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYXCUG7mcsI&feature=related
“so let god work his will in you. yell a loud no to the devil and watch him scamper. say a quiet yes to god and he’ll be there in no time [i love that]. quit dabbling in sin. purify your inner life. quit playing the field. hit bottom and cry your eyes out. the fun and games are over. get serious, really serious. get down on your knees before the master; its the only way you’ll get on your feet.” james 4:7-10 [the message]
i read this today. it made my heart jump a bit. mostly because it’s true. so true. and i’m learning.
i was having a conversation last weekend…venting about over-the-top christians [you know, the "my boss is a jewish carpenter" bumper sticker having, "jesus died for MySpace" t-shirt wearing--yes, that shirt really exists, i saw it--popular christian book reading folks]. i know, i know…jesus love those people and i do too [they're family] but sometimes i want to shake them when i see them on campus with their christian memorabilia or bust into awkward conversations where i hear one person convincing a non-suspecting ’sinner’ about their sin and eternal destiny, or cry when a student comes to me recently burned and turned off by the way christianity was presented to her.
and then the person i was venting to said something profound to me. “so many people are out there shouting ‘jesus is the answer’ to people who aren’t asking the question.” that’s it! that statement resonates so deeply in my heart and the relationships around me, the campus i love, the city i live in…so many people aren’t yet aware of their need for a savior, don’t yet know that they need something bigger, more powerful and purposeful to live for and be loved by, aren’t seeing the way jesus does something for my life that they deeply desire and desperately need. so i’ve been chewing on that statement. wondering…how does my life cause people to ask the question. how do i, how do the students i work with, how does my jesus-loving church raise the question in the lives of people who don’t yet know him. what if we were people who shouted the answer much less and caused the question much more. “why is she experiencing such peace in the midst of a battle with cancer?” “why are they giving away free water–no strings attached?” “what brings the most diverse, hodge podge group of students on campus together every week? how are they friends? and why?” “why are they spending their saturday at the homeless shelter down the street?” “what is it about her? about him? about them?”
jesus.
what a sweet privilege to share the answer. but maybe an even sweeter privilege to be the ones causing the question.
i love good worship music. i love to sing loudly (these days in my car with the sunroof open) to matt redman and chris tomlin and tim hughes (and my favorite “local” worship celebrities, of course)…singing to, and about, and because of my sweet jesus. but i love an old hymn from time to time. when i walked into my parents house today, my mom had the hymnal on the piano open to “take my life and let it be” and i was immediately taken back to memories of being small and my mom letting me stand on the pew at church so that i could see the music leader. i remember this song specifically and the way it made me sing my heart out [i was loud then, too. some things never change.]. the words are so sweet to me today [i'm not sure i understood them then]. like a prayer. pray it with me.
take my life and let it be consecrated lord to thee
take my hands and let them move at the impulse of thy love, at the impulse of thy love.
take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for thee
take my voice and let me sing always only for my king, always only for my king.
take my silver and my gold not a mite would i withhold
take my moments and my day let them flow in ceaseless praise, let them flow in ceaseless praise.
take my will and make it thine it shall be no longer mine
take my heart it is thine own it shall be thy royal throne, it shall be thy royal throne.
christie bought dove chocolates. i don’t like when she buys chocolates. or cheetos. or anything more than 5 points in a serving. so generally she hides them. [self control is one of the fruits of the spirit i'm still working on. why "fruit" of the spirit, anyway? why not "chocolate" of the spirit. or "cheeto" of the spirit.] but today, she did not hide them and i am thankful. they have provided a slight stomach ache from the mix of excess sugar and laughing pains from reading the “promises” on the wrappers. some “promises” they are. ok…so maybe my over-spiritualized mind thinks of promises solely in terms of god’s promises [comfort, provision, goodness, lambs and rainbows and other fluffy stuff that you see in thomas kinkade portraits]…maybe i’m a prude or a bit naiive [stop laughing. i really am in some people's minds. it's all relative.] but really, these “dove” promises seem a little scandalous. let me list a few:
“lose yourself in a moment” [translation: have sex, even though you've been waiting for years. the moment has arrived.]
“love without rules” [translation: have sex with anyone you want. or animals. or whatever. no boundaries.]
“do what feels right” [translation: have sex. period.]
“be mischievous–it feels good” [translation: have sex with lots of people.]
“wink at someone driving past you” [translation: make the person in the car next to you think about having sex with you.]
“naughty can be nice” [translation: whips and chains.]
“test your own limits and keep going” [translation: don't stop. do whatever he/she wants.]
now, obviously i’m not condoning any of these behaviors/”promises”…i’m simply making the point that dove seems to have gotten away from it’s holy spirit roots [dove=holy spirit]. unless we’re focusing on the holy spirit in the book of song of solomon. yes, maybe that’s it. maybe that’s where the dove folks got their inspiration. hmmm. anyway, christie and i will be finishing off the bag and enjoying the chocolate. good thing i’m not good at keeping promises.
reading an interesting book recently: the great conspirators. tom sine is the author. just read this part about the kingdom of god being here and now. not years down the road. not far above us in the clouds. now. breaking through. making it’s way into our lives.
if only we lived like it.
“is it possible that the bible’s imagery of coming home to the kingdom of god is not simply a theology we salute on sunday but a new reason to get out of bed on monday– a new cultural vision of the good life and better future that reflects god’s loving purposes for a people and a world?”
amen?
